The past...

Spent some time looking thru past entries written by 2 people. These are the thoughts that went through my head...

Small BB wasn't loved by Big BB at all. She died trying in the end. Presumably quite a terrible death. And i'm referring to the hamsters.

A lost ring..my natural alarms should've gone off by then. Happened once before a long time ago with someone else. I guess i just refused to take the caution.

My beloved dog died. Of old age. Just before i was to go to Genting. That was a yr plus back.

I never really was anywhere or anyone to the one who had mattered the most to me. I was just a comfort lover. Maybe love was there in the beginning. Or it was love for me and 'thot to be love' for her? What's the point. I'm still being left behind at the end of the day.

Losing things close to me or have relation to me are always ominous signs for me that my relationships will die off in the end. Superstitious? Maybe. But definately it doesn't have to happen everytime to every single one of my relationships right? But it does. When i believe it, i don't get hurt. When i don't..need i say more? This will be the first and the last time i throw caution into the winds.

Someone wrote a poem which i did not understand a long time ago. But now i do. All the answers that i need, i found it there. I was not the drug. There was and never will be silence in my background. I was not the one to cast the spell on you. I was everyone's mentor. To let all know what it really feels like to be loved. The class has ended. The bell has rung. Go out there and love and be loved.